From my experience here they are many types of jealousy that i have seen here in PI. They are the jealous women, jealous business, and just general jealousy... I have never quiet figured it out, or even attempt to anymore. Its just another one of those, things I will never understand.. I have come to have a lot of those in my time living here.
* The jealous girlfriend or wife - Now for sure Filipina's are well know for their jealous nature. Very kind and gentle, but look out if another girl gets to close, or you smile or talk to much.. This is a common thing all over the world, but here in PI, if you do not understand it, it can be hard to figure out.... In my experiences, it works like this::
Most Filipina do not show their jealousy outright and in a obvious nature. You can actually be talking or looking at another girl, and they will seem to join right in the discussion, laugh, smile, and you will think you are doing nothing wrong at all... Its later, sometimes much later, when you will get the hints or finally see actions and words that make you know she is very jealous... Sometimes when i am hiring girls at our business, we will interview them, talk, and the ones who seem very outgoing and friendly are usually the ones who i choose... Many, many times i see no adverse actions from my wife, nor do i think they is anything wrong at all. I will get confused why the ladies have not text-ed me back for a final interview, or why i am getting no response from them. Later to find out, my reply's were deleted, or the girls were told the position has been filled. When in reality it has not... When i ask why, she was not the right one... I have even had ladies who i have met for work purposes, tell me at a later meeting time. " Sir I text-ed you and your reply was you had died..... ha ha ha ha... Then i can tell that my wife must not had wanted her around me.... Its not me doing that, its my wife checking my texts and replying her own version of what needs to be said.... But, you will never hear a word, or see anything that would make you think she was jealous of that person...
Another one that is hard to understand is, when you are out with her friends, who she invited, and she asked you to come along,,,,, all go for a night out... During the night her friends will talk to you, and of course you will talk in return... Then she will tell you to dance with her friend, or walk with her friend, or something along that nature... Then up on completing the request she asks of you, the remarks start coming....... " Looks like you was having fun" --- " Set over there, seems like that's where you are more comfortable." or my favorite " Well she sure is a lot prettier than me, guess you wish you had her for a wife instead of me. "
The one i notice the most is when you see a real attractive girl, or a real attractive girl is in your presence, or around you at a mall or in our business. She will go all day long, busy, and really not having time to talk with you much, or pay attention... Then when the pretty girl is around, you will notice hugs, stroking the hair out of your face, and kisses on the cheek... I am wondering, where the heck did this come from. She never does this... BUT oh, do not mention that she is doing that,,,,, you will get the reply.... " I always do that, you just do not pay attention."
Got to love them....
Now the business jealousy, or just jealousy in general is one that I experience a lot.. For some reason, when you are doing good in business, or doing good at something, some Filipino's will always try to shoot you down. Find fault with what you are doing, always criticizing, even if you are doing a good job, and nothing wrong. Seems they hate to see someone doing good.. I have even had them as far as tell story's and make up things just to try to destroy what you have done. Do not know why they can not be happy for you, and even try to help, or join in and try to become a part of what you are doing... This seems to go for business, family, marriage, wealth, and many others....
Its hard for me to understand, why they will go to such lengths to tare down, and make hard something you have accomplished, especially when it affects them none at all, or they have no stake in it at all.... I have also seen this in my home country of the USA, but not to the extreme i have seen it here.... I have more people here who I have found out do not like me, or have said bad things about me or my business, that do not know at all.. Or have no dealings with, or even have ever spoken with in my life.... The more others praise you, the worse it gets....
This never really hit home with me until our restaurant, The Jungle , started getting all the big Japanese agencies and become Top Ranked restaurant on a Leading Travel Site. Since then, wow it has been one attack after the other... None with any merit, or making any common sense at all... Just pure jealousy.... Maybe because I run this business in a western fashion, and do not allow all the " accepted ways " of the Pinoy business style, maybe makes others just right out mad.
I had a experience the other day when a local guide brought two foreign guests into my establishment.... He asked my manager, " Your meal package is P 800 for seafood meal, charge them P 2500 for it and give me the rest." Of course I denied his request, and told him I would be happy to give him a commission for bringing the guests here, of 20%, and he was welcome to sell our package to the guests for what ever amount he agreed with them for.... But i could not allow to jack up the price that much, that would only make the business look bad, and its just in general not right. I asked him to talk with them, he could sell them the package for US 25, or something, in which other agents do... order the food for them. But he wanted me to charge that, when in fact our prices are clearly marked on our menus... I could not and will not do that... Well, in return he now tells everyone that we are not good, and we do not pay good commissions to his other " street agents ".... Knowing full well we are the best in this area, that does not matter.... He wanted to make it all, very fast, and quick. When in fact, if he would have only got the commission and nothing else. It would have been 400 or 500 peso, which is a great days salary for only bringing and dropping off two people and leaving..... Plus the fact i wont let stand by's hang around out front, and wont allow commissions to drivers and others who the guests request them to bring to our business. I have already paid for that advertisement, and all they did was bring them to where they wanted and already known about...
But, no matter how much it makes sense, and its correct, and right, and proper.... They still get mad or jealous, and will really cause as much hardship as they can..... Really do not understand that..... They are many restaurants in Mactan Island and in Cebu, that have a better selection of Korean foods, and Western Foods, and others... I will support them and recommend them for customers looking for that type of thing... But when it comes to Filipino Foods and a Filipino Cultural / Variety Show, they is none does it better than The Jungle.... But they seem not to care about that, or what kind of experience the tourist might want.... The concern is to take or talk them into something that will make them the most money, and not worry about the quality.....
Now in all fairness to The Filipino, which its obivous I support and promote very well, they are many Pinoy's who are very helpful, supportive, and who really understand quality, and who are top notch people... Plus, I have also seen and experienced many Ex Pats who live here, and own business, do the same exact thing I mentioned above..... They mostly do it to their own Nationality also....
It will always amaze me how that people can get so jealous, and spiteful for any person who is making something, or advancing their life through job, business, or talent, or any venue..... I hope and try to teach each and every employee of mine. Strive to be better, learn, and always keep you eye out for a better paying job... I can only afford a certain salary, and if one of my employees can better his life, or himself by taking another job, I would personally drive him there and help him to get it.. I want to see others do good.... That goes for other business also.... Now do not get me wrong.... If someone wanted to open the same venue as me, close to me, I surely would not be one of their biggest supporters.... BUT, if they done good, and done it properly, I would harbor no hard feelings, and instead of being jealous, I would want to help, or become part of it also, merge, or do something beneficial..... I would not tear down, or back bite, just for no reason........
Good is good, proper is proper, right is right..... No matter how you feel about a person or a business, if they are doing the right thing, in the proper way, fair, honest, and good quality,,,,, No one has the right to try to bad mouth or tear it down.... Anyone with decent moral character, and decent up bringing should and would know this.......
I will give you a personal example of one of my experiences back in the USA... In our town they is one man, who owns a car repair shop... This is one man who i really, really dislike... He has to be one of the most hateful, obnoxious, critical human beings alive... Me and him do not get along at all.... But his business, i will have to say, is top notch. Best quality service, fair, honest, fast, and on time. His and his staffs work is outstanding... He wont pad a insurance bill, he wont use a cheap part, and he has hundred's of satisfied customers and proven work to show for it.. Now no matter what i think of this man, or how much i dislike him or his personal practices, if anyone asked me where is the best car repair shop in my town... Out of pure honesty, and morals I would tell you his shop.... Its just the way it is.....
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